When Forrest began clutching on to toys, I wrote it down as a milestone and invited friends over to play.
Watching him clumsily hold on to things became a joy greater than I could have ever imagined. He seemed to be at the whims of his body’s movements as his body practiced motion after motion. Such a minute task was covered in wonder and joy as his exploration of the world became the reason for the smile I held. His unawareness of the sheer wonder of his existence tickled me.
Everything he did appeared random in this stage, and yet I knew he was preparing for something. I watched and waited for the moment when he’d finally move with intentionality.
I learned quickly that parenthood is a wild journey of watching this little person discover the world. It starts with spastic movements and jerky motions. Baby hardly knows what he’s doing. Each motion, as random as it may seem, is practice for the real thing. Over and over until one day he can do it with intentionality. Until one day it doesn’t feel so random.
Waiting for a hug.
When Forrest was only a few months old, Travis would scoop him up for a hug. Forrest’s smile would turn to a giggle as he’d listen to his daddy say, “I got you!”
I’d watch as Travis would tenderly position Forrest’s arms around his neck, as if hugging him. They’d sway around the kitchen, holding one another tight. One of them savored this hug as a reflection of love. And the other was hanging out because he was in a clutching stage and daddy’s arms were the closest thing in reach.
Forrest held on because that’s all he knew to do. He didn’t understand the significance of a hug or how to do it himself yet. He was still at the whims of his body’s learning. But his father held him tightly. He didn’t know it, but he was in the safest place on this side of heaven in those arms.
Travis would look over at me and say, “I can’t wait for the day when Forrest means to hug me.”
And something within me would smile, because I understood what he meant. We both loved this child exactly where he was, but also looked ahead with longing to the day when he’d be able to express the love we shared with him every day.
God’s love for us is like this too.
I am reminded of our Heavenly Father’s gentle love every time I remember this scene.
As I watch Travis’ gentle hands nurture Forrest, I see his desire for Forrest to intentionally return his love. His spastic motions and clumsy clutches are gearing him up for the real thing. Practice day in and day out. And as any good father does, Travis waits with grace and patience for the day his expression of love will be returned with intentionality.
Travis loves Forrest exactly where he is now and does not give up on the day when Forrest will share in his father’s love.
Do you see the parallel?
God loves you exactly where you are now and does not give up on the day when you will share in your Heavenly Father’s love.
He watches you with tender care. As you seek to make sense of the world around you and take steps forward, no matter how clumsy, his eyes over you are love. He is not a harsh father. He does not resent your small steps or weak holds. He doesn’t expect you to be bigger than you are in this moment.
No, this God rejoices over you. He is so keenly aware of where you are and meets you there. He watches in wonder over you and expresses his love every day, whether or not you express it back to him. You’re a creation of His.
He loves you.
That’s really the easiest way to say it.
He loves you, regardless of your ability or desire to express it. He’s just happy to be with you as you are today, but also waits with patience for the day when you will look to him and mean it.
Friend, our Heavenly Father happily receives whatever we have to offer while also looking ahead with eager anticipation at the day we will reciprocate his love because we want to. You are held by the strongest arms in the universe, whether or not you feel it.
Photography graciously provided by Erin Fox Photo
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